Kimberly Rae Hansen


Fractal Awakening: Afraid of Empathy?

Mar 7, 2018

Part of intuition is being empathetic or aware of another’s feelings and emotions. Empathetic intuition is subtle; a lightning quick observation of body language, words spoken, words left unsaid, tiny little fidgets or movements that get picked up as patterns or associations by the subconscious.  The subconscious collects these perceptions and relays a message to your consciousness.  Its language back to us too, is subtle. It can come through any of your five senses. For me, its a feeling. I get a fluttering in my gut -- or a tight cramping if its something more serious that I need to heed immediately. Like danger vs just a white lie. I will feel a change in body temperature, usually a hot flush in the case of mistruth, but cold in the eye of something more serious. Sometimes the hairs on the backs of my arms and necks will rise, and once in a while, I will see an image run through my head for a brief instance. Gone so fast, I am almost certain I imagined it, were it not for all my other body triggers I am more attune to noticing, going off at the same exact time.

As a child, I worked like gangbusters to turn my empathic nature off. I found it all overwhelming and confusing. It terrified me. I cried a lot, was labeled as over-sensitive by my parents, and teased by other children. I could not understand why someone would say one thing, but I could feel, so strongly, that they totally meant something just the opposite. So what does one do when they need clarification? The ask! Well I am sure you can imgine how popular I one really likes to be called out on their truths, especially if they are hiding some of their greater emotions, from themselves and have not faced them yet. I learned to keep my introspections under wraps. To work hard at ignoring the little physical nuances cascading through my body. I did my best to will it all away.

Intuition is like a muscle. If you use it, it grows strong. Dependable. Reliable. It works, and works well, with minimal effort, as long as there is consistency of use. Conversely, an unused, distregarded, shut down intuition grows flabby and weak. When it does try to function, sometimes it does not work as planned, or it takes far more effort to accomplish the simplest of tasks. Needless to say, there were times in my life where I totally let my intuition muscle atrophy, out of fear, out of a way to try to intergrate with what I deemed ’normal people’, as a way to not have to face things I could not explain. I have actually regretted it, somewhere down the line, Every. Single. Time.

I get it though. Intuition is such an intangible thing, it can be scary. It is oft times challenging to decipher. Sometimes it all ends up being nothing, and makes you wonder if your intuitive hunch and messages were real or imagined. Chances are though, there was more truth and reality in that intuitive moment than you realize. It just may not come fully to light until way later, long after the intuitive moment has passed and been forgotten. As a people pleasing society, its also really hard to go against the perceived norm and talk about this stuff, let alone find tactful ways to wriggle out of relationships where your radar is always clamoring for attention. 

I think it gets easier though, to manage it all, with practice and work. I have different empathetic friends who have different ways of decompressing and slowing down the energetic flow when it becomes too stimulating. For me, I like to meditate, especially if I have been bombarded all day long with sensory and mental input. In that space, I can ground myself. Lean on God. Turn off my mind, slow down my senses, and recharge my batteries. If I need something more ’real time’, like say if I am feeling tension emenating from a collegue or family member, and it’s impolite to just close my eyes and start OM chanting, I have a few other tricks I like instead. 

Invariably, my tension will be cropping up everywhere. By taking notice of where my tongue is in my mouth (most likely wedged tightly behind my front teeth, up against the roof of my mouth, wound coil tight), and shake it loose. Let it lay limp in my mouth, and then I feel the rest of the muscles in my body follow suit, starting with the ones in my face, and the rest to follow from the neck down, like a wave washing gently over my body. It will not stop the energetic flow of empathic information heading my way, but my mind and soul are now aware, and feels less intense once notice is taken. Not everyone knows that tongue trick. I learned it from my sister only but a few years ago. I use it on a regular, daily basis, and wish I had known of it sooner! I like it better than my old standby of touching my thumb to my middle finger and chanting RELAX inside my head, to achieve the same thing. It is not as effective though as the tongue trick. It’s true, the rest of you cannot stay relaxed fully if your mouth is tense. Don’t believe me? Spend the next 24 hours being hyper aware of your tongue. When you feel tense, worried, frightened or angry, stop and notice. Where is your tongue? How are you holding it inside your mouth? Is it tense and tight? If so, waggle it (inside your mouth, not out, lest you get strange looks for your lascivious nature!) so it relaxes and pay attention as you do so, as to how the rest of your body responds to that action. Conversely, try to relax your other body musles while keeping your tongue held tight. You will be able to unwind your muscles, but if you keep holding your tongue tight and focus on your muscles, you will notice that they will creep back to that held, tense space that your tongue is also in. Its something little, but powerful!

Wanna share some of your techniques for easing how we recieve or process empathic energy? Or share a story of a time that inutition worked magically for you? Or would have worked for you if you had listened to it? We can all be both teacher and student on this lifelong lesson and journey of life. Weigh in with your thoughts if you like, at the Fractal Awakening FaceBook discussion group.

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